Tuesday, July 23, 2024

The Best Meat Subscription Boxes (2024)

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There are so many meat subscription services out there, all with the promise of a better quality product for less money and no trips to the grocery store. We already subscribe to gyms, streaming platforms, magazines and software, so why not utilize the direct-to-consumer approach for a subscription your body already signed you up for, whether you like it or not? (Food. You have to eat food. Like… every day.)

But which meat delivery service do you choose? Their sites all have pretty pictures and glowing five-star testimonials. It’s hard to know what’s legit, and what’s just a well-branded scam. And while we’re being skeptical, why should you listen to my opinion about the best meat subscription boxes?

Well, I am someone who takes meat quite seriously. As a Boy Scout, I was once elected patrol leader solely on the strength of my campfire cheesesteaks. I stage cookout coups when I see grilled chicken in danger of drying out. I handle the Thanksgiving turkey, can chat for hours about BBQ rubs, and I keep a Thermapen permanently stashed in my luggage because vacation rentals NEVER have a probe thermometer. I’ve spent the last few months dining on nothing but subscription box meats. After sampling a hundred or so pounds of it, I’m confident in my choices.

All the subscription services on this list boast great relationships with their farmers, and know how their animals are treated and slaughtered. Unlike your local grocery store’s cheap meatz, there are no Concentrated Animal Feed Operations here. The creatures have space to roam, are provided with healthy diets, and aren’t blasted with the growth hormones and antibiotics.

Testing was tricky. You can’t compare apples to oranges, and you can’t compare steaks to scallops. In general, I tried to incorporate all of the different meat subscription boxes into how I normally live and cook. But there were some offerings I could hold up to more scientific scrutiny—specifically the boneless skinless chicken breasts, ground beef, steaks, and bacon. Across the board I found them to be excellent, and if I were to declare all of these “as good as or better” to any specific grocery store brands, I’d compare everyone’s chicken to Bell & Evans, their ground beef to Pat La Frieda, and the bacon to D’Artagnan. Not a slouch among them.

It’s worth mentioning that Halal Box did offer distinctively yummy bone-in chicken, and Porter Road and Vermont Wagyu had beef that easily stood out from the rest. And while I can’t declare any of these boxes as the number one best meat subscription for all people, I can tell you which is the best fit for your lifestyle. Come on in. There’s a meat delivery box for everyone.

If You Love Pork So Much You Want to Marry It: Campo Grande

The Iberico Pork Box: $152 for 6 pounds

The Charcuterie Sampler: $89 for 8 ounces

You’ve probably had good pork before, but the Iberico from Campo Grande is an entirely different animal—literally. These pigs root around in more real estate and fresh air than I do. They spend their lives roaming the idyllic Spanish countryside, grazing on carefully rotated crops of acorns in the shade, and you can taste it.

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